During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine Whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket Because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug.


Do you want a bed near the window?"


The teacher said that is was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even although it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated the teacher reiterated that a whales could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The girl replied, "Then you ask him".


A kindergarten teacher was observing her class of children while they were drawing. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing way.

The girl replied " I'm drawing God".

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like".

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied "They will in a minute".


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to Persuade them each to buy a copy of the group photograph.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at when you are all grown up and say,

"There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer", or "That's Michael, He's a doctor"

A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead".


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "Honour thy Father and thy Mother" she asked.

"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?

From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill".


Three more jokes